Lutefisk

New Ulm was dreamy! A wealth of fancy stoops, guarded by lions and gilded birds. And castles to boot! Once this gnome gets started it's hard to stop him though. So off I go, in the direction of adventure. Time to add to the growing collection of stoops I've felt under the stone under my boots.

A building caught my attention, not because of any kind of stoop it had, but because of the pictures painted on the outside walls. The pictures showed people gathering and then eating a big feast. When I saw this, my belly grumbled. Would you believe it sounded like it said, "Grrrrgo inside. Hungrrrry."


"Ugh. Not another one." I heard a gruff voice say when I got near the front door.
"Oh no. Don't look at him."
"Quick, let's block the door."

I got to the front door and was greeted by trolls. "Hello! Are you out having adventures? I thought I might find lunch in here."

"Go away, gnome. There's already enough of you in here."
"Go away."
And the third one told me to go away, too.

Good thing gnomes don't listen to trolls. If there are other gnomes in Ingebretsen's then I want to salute and say hello to them! I politely walked past their long lumpy noses, which were turned up at me. I made a point of not looking at them. When I was a young gnome I made the mistake of looking at a troll when its nose was turned up. I had frightful dreams for months afterward!













A viking! I saluted the large fellow and asked if, by chance, he knew Big Ole of Alexandria. He let out a hearty belly laugh that shook his body armor. "Me and Ole go way back. How is the big guy? Still luring visitors down main street to visit him, is he?" I told him he was. "He always did like company." My stomach growled again. I think it said, "Grrrrrrub."



I told the viking I was looking for some lunch and he pointed to a bright counter filled with delicious looking food. "Personally, I can't get enough of the lutefisk. But that's just me. I know it's an acquired taste." I'd love to try Lutefisk! I've learned that if a viking recommends something to try, you'd be smart to try it!


"Okay!" Said the viking as he clapped his hands together. "Suit up! We'll prepare your lunch together. This will be a good addition to your list of adventures." The viking handed me a chef's hat and a cooking utensil and we got to work preparing my lutefisk. "Morrre," said my stomach upon finishing my first piece of lutefisk. We prepared one more piece and finally my belly had nothing more to say.









Ingebretsen's is quite a place! I found a book titled Gnomes. I couldn't help but stop and read it. We're pretty fascinating!








It was especially nice to speak to a Miss Dala eye to eye! "It's not often I meet someone who I can talk to without having to look way way up or way way down."
She said, "Don't look now, but there are a few fellows across the room who seem pretty curious about you."
"I'll be happy to say hi to them!" I said. "They'll be happy to see you. But they're shy and may not be the best of conversationalists."
I walked across the room toward these supposedly shy fellows the Dala Horse told me about.





Along the way I exchanged friendly hellos with some pointy fellows.







I heard whispers at this point, and then silence. I continued across the room when I noticed about a hundred eyes following my every movement with silent awe.

"Hello there." I said, quietly. I didn't want to startle the little fellows. "I'm Aaron's Lawn Gnome. Who are all of you?" Silence. I told them that I was out having adventures and searching for stoops. I complimented them on their nice home and before I left I told them not to let those nasty trolls bother them. They're all bark and no bite.

Ich Bin Ein New Ulmer

The gnomes at the gnome hostel started talking about stoops. "You've already been to the Runestone and Sesame Street?" they all asked me, amazed. They wondered why I kept moving on, so I pointed them to my blog my blog while I sat and enjoyed some Apfelkorn. All of the gnomes nodded their heads and let out a collective, "Yup," when they finished reading. Turns out my thirst for adventure isn't such a unique story among gnomes! They all started suggesting other places to visit, but I got excited about one place in particular. The gnome who suggested I get a pack told me I would like a town called New Ulm. "There are lots of extravagant stoops in New Ulm. And there is something downtown that I think you'll really enjoy, but I'm not going to tell you what it is. It'll be a surprise. There are even a couple of gnomes I know who live in New Ulm. If you visit, say hello from me!"

The very next day I said goodbye to all of my new friends. They all waved good bye and wished me luck on my newest adventure. After a long walk that took almost the entire day, I was greeted into New Ulm by a giant fellow who manned his post atop a giant gazebo. "Hello up there!" I yelled as politely as I could. "Could you point me into town?" He said hello to me and introduced himself. "Hi! I am Herman The German! Welcome! To New Ulm!" and he pointed his sword in the direction over the hill. I continued walking and found myself at the top of a hill where there was a view of the fall colors in the city of New Ulm.

I walked right into town, first to say hello to the gnomes for my friend back at the hostel. They were store guards! They were so happy to hear from their friend that they did a little dance and jumped about. "Walk around! Walk around! There is so much to see -- especially if you're looking for stoops!" Those energetic fellows got me excited to explore the town! And they weren't kidding about the stoops! It was strange in New Ulm -- there was a roof guarded by a giant green and gold bird. And I stood on a cozy stoop between two lions! There were castles to guard! It felt good standing in front of such grand buildings. I didn't think anything could tear me away from trying these magnificent stoops. If you look very closely, you can see me and my tall red hat on the stoop in the photo of the striped building above!

Then the time was 3 o' clock. And my attention dramatically shifted, against my will, from my stoop adventure.

I heard miraculous bells! And I knew it was the surprise my gnome friend had hinted about.

This Gnome Is A Happy Gnome

The famous stoop of note was a great addition to my list of adventures. If adventures could be expressed in terms of physical size, the famous Sesame Street stoop was the size of Big Ole. I felt like I was standing on a celebrity for a few days! Everything was a-okay, the air was sweet, and this was also where all the friendly neighbors would meet, but when it came to quenching my thirst the options weren't as, shall we say, colorful. After sharing my travel stories with everyone during story hour, Bert asked if there was anything I wanted to drink. He said, "You must be thirsty after all of that walking." I asked if anyone wouldn't mind sharing their Apfelkorn. All of the friendly neighbors sort of gasped. Then Oscar the Grouch spoke up and said, "This story is brought to you by the letter N. N is for the word no, as in no alcohol on Sesame Street." Oscar lives right next door to this incredible stoop, so I decided that this stoop wasn't right for me a while ago. He's an unpleasant fellow. I decided to leave just a little sooner after his most recent story, though.

Once again I found myself walking around in St. Paul. It was a dreary day, but I was still enjoying the excitement from finding a famous stoop to stand on. This gnome had a spring in his step despite the drizzly day! I held my chin up, looking forward to what I would discover next and there in the distance was something amazing. The sign said, The Happy Gnome! I went inside and discovered that this place was a gnome hostel for traveling gnomes to rest their pointy caps for a spell. I made many friends here and I even had a reunion with the fellow I met at Glockenspiel! He was visiting from just a few blocks away. All of the gnomes there welcomed me with a drink called a Gnomosa!

This gnome was a garden gnome who decided to grow his own plants to guard. "I think my plan backfired," he said. "My plant has gotten too big for me to travel with!"

Another gnome I talked to had a backpack full of tomatoes to keep his belly full along his travels. "You should get a backpack, too. That way you don't have to worry if there will be any food where you decide to take a break." I told him this was my first adventure out and I was happy for his great advice.

The gnome on the fireplace mantel was as warm as his station. He was funny, too. "I don't understand you outside gnomes," he said. "I don't know why you would guard a stoop or a garden when there are nice warm mantels to guard." I told him that I've been trying out all kinds of options and he laughed until tears came out of his eyes when I said I even tried a turtle shell. "Well, you're welcome to try guarding a mantel if you want."

G for Gnome!

A famous stoop. I just can't get that Runestone stoop out of my mind. But it was inside a glass box! That historic stoop step was being held captive and there was no way I could even set my little stone on it, even for a second. I would like to touch my stone to a bit of history, so onward with my search for a stoop. A well-known one at that, before it is put away behind glass. So I continue what I began, asking around for a stoop of note.

First I came across a couple of woodland creatures, Moose and Bear. "I know there aren't any stoops out here in the wilderness, but would you happen to know of a stoop of note I could visit and actually stand on?" Moose and Bear thought it out and all of a sudden Bear remembered a city relative of his that lives in a zoo. "He told me about a place called Sesame Street. It's in the city, so there must be a famous stoop there." I asked him if he could tell me how to get to Sesame Street and he and Moose pointed their big noses in the proper direction.

I enjoy being in the woods and wilderness, but I'm out of practice. I've been a city gnome for awhile now and so I found myself without my bearings. I found a turtle and asked, "Could you point me to a famous stoop of note in the city?" Turtle replied as if he didn't even hear my question. He simply said, "Why don't you wear your stoop, that way you won't have to look for one?" Honestly I never considered that as an option. So I took a moment to try the turtle's suggestion. I quickly realized that was not the solution for me. I asked turtle my question again, "Could you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?" And the turtle pointed his nose in the direction I should go. With a friendly salute I was off in the right direction.

Within a few steps of speaking with the turtle, I met a giant ant! The forest is such a busy place. "I heard you are looking for a stoop to guard," she said. "You're more than welcome to see if my stoop is to your liking." I told her thanks and perhaps I will come back and see what it's like to guard an ant's stoop, but right now I'm on my way to the city.

I walked for quite a while, enjoying the fall colors and watching fat squirrels rustle about. Before I new it, the forest was behind me and I was in a yard. I was behind a very small house and became so curious about who lived there! I walked around to the front and found a minimal stoop, occupied by a sleepy yellow dog. Since I am trying out stoops, I didn't think I should rule this little one out. I stood and stood and stood until the dog finally woke up. I introduced myself and told him about my mission. "I hope you don't mind my trying out your stoop," I said. The yellow dog didn't mind. In fact, he just shrugged his shoulders and went right back to sleep. I ended up dozing on the dog's stoop for a bit, but there was still plenty of sun sweeping the clouds away when I woke up so I decided to continue on. Double-checking that my directions were correct, I asked the yellow dog, "Could you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?" And before he laid his head back down, he pointed his wet, black snout in the proper direction.

I could tell I was further into town when I saw a clown on a park bench. "Are you a park bench gnome?" I asked. This fellow's hair was as red as my hat! He laughed and said, "I am not a gnome, I am a clown. Would you like a hamburger?" I politely declined a hamburger -- I was too excited to eat! Instead I asked, "Could you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?" And the clown pointed a giant clown shoe in the proper direction.

I started trying stoop after stoop now that I was in the city. I tried a nice stoop at a bright yellow house. I found a giant nest, too, and, like the turtle stoop I found it wasn't quite right for me. I went on to another stoop in front of a red door and near a blue mailbox. It would be fun to stand next to a mailbox, there would be plenty of people to see everyday. But none of these stoops felt like historic stoops of note. So I walked and wandered, wondering if I was too late. Perhaps the famous stoop all of my friends pointed me toward along the way had already been put behind glass.

Just as the sun was going down I saw two lights come on just a short ways away. It was a welcoming light, shining softly down onto a dark green door and illuminating the numbers 123. I knew it! I knew this was my famous stoop of note! I ran and ran, up one, two, three steps. I caught my breath. This felt like a famous stoop of note underneath my road-weary stone. I would surely spend the night here, if not a few days, and experience all that Sesame Street has to offer.

Soon I found that this is exactly where all the friendly neighbors meet! I met a fellow with a thick accent who wore a cape and liked to count everything he saw. I met a big yellow bird, too. I'll have to ask if that was his nest I visited. I even met these two great fellows -- one has a rubber ducky and the other has a paper clip collection!

The Room Past Area 51

Once again my belly was rumbling. I spent the whole day at the Runestone Museum in Alexandria, MN and didn't think to eat once! I didn't know what I was in the mood to eat, so I wandered and wandered until I found something that my belly and I could agree on. In the middle of a parking lot I had that sneaky suspicion once again that I was being stared at! Sure enough I looked up to see this bizarre shivering creature with a head too small for its big black eyes. It wouldn't say hello to me, but it wasn't mean either. We just stared at each other for a moment. I turned around to see a building covered in planets and similar creatures to the one I was just looking at! The sign on the building said Space Aliens Grill and Bar. So that creature must be a space alien! A naughty one at that. After all, it was sent out to sit in that car (a space ship in disguise?) all alone.

I sat in a booth and read the Galactic Gazette. Space culture sure is focused on food! The news was all about salads, something called Moo Juice and Meteor Bites. I was reading about something called a Space Disk when a lady stopped at my booth. I asked her about the Space Disk and she said she would bring one to me. It tasted just like melted cheese! When I was finished eating I was drawn into another room because there were loud beeping noises and bright blinking lights coming out of it. I hopped down out of my booth, passed by a door labeled Area 51, and entered into another world. Whatever ingredients were in that Space Disk must have altered something in my body because I suddenly became so full of energy!

A Stoop of Note and Mr. Ole

While chatting with this fellow on Lake Street the conversation naturally turned to stoops. It is the reason I am out and about after all. Toward the end of our talk I asked if he knew of any stoops of note in Minnesota. He closed the paper he was reading and closed his eyes to think. After a few seconds he opened his eyes and with a snap of his fingers he said, "Alexandria is where you want to go!" So I asked him to point me in that direction and, with a last salute to this helpful fellow, I was on my way!

I was following some train tracks in the direction of Alexandria for a few miles when I felt a rumble under my stone -- a train! I stopped to watch it pass when I felt a tug on my belt! All of a sudden I was on the train, face to face with the train conductor. "You're a gnome!" he said. "I love gnomes! You must be on a journey if you're all the way out here." And he let me ride on the train all the way to Alexandria. He even let me ride in the conductor seat! I've never ridden the rails before and was happy to add the experience to my growing list of adventures.

I arrived in Alexandria today -- much sooner than I had planned, of course. I followed the main street through town and met a very large fellow with an incredible hat! I introduced myself and asked if he could tell me where in town I could find a stoop of note. He had a booming voice and I was a little frightened at first! He announced himself as Big Ole. I must have been staring because he said, "This is my viking hat." And we got to talking about our hats, his shield, and arrows and hatchets. I practically forgot the reason I came to Alexandria when Big Ole told me that the stoop I was looking for was just across the street! What luck! I thanked Mr. Ole and ran across the street to something called The Runestone Museum.

Inside I found the most ornate piece of stone I have ever seen. I watched a short movie that explained that Olaf Ohman, a Swedish immigrant farmer found this ancient and strangely carved stone on his land in 1898. People accused him of making the runestone himself. To make the accusations stop, Ohman made the stone his front step. A stoop is supposed to be a friendly and welcoming place -- not something that someone would make out of shame!


I couldn't find any information about there being a gnome who guarded this runestone stoop. I wonder if I'll find a famous and historic step to call home, or just stand on for a day! The ornate carvings, the thickness and color of this stone; I stood and luxuriated at being so close to such an ancient stoop until the museum closed.

Bird's Eye View

While walking along in St. Paul, enjoying my full belly after eating and drinking at Glockenspiel, I got to thinking. As a gnome I have never had a good view of anything. I enjoyed my view of Aaron's front yard, of course, but I've never been tall enough to get what I've heard is called a bird's eye view of something. St. Paul has a few hills within the city and, with the excitement my idea generated coupled with a belly full of energy, I decided to climb to the top of a great hill! It really didn't take me too long, but when I made it to the top I lingered for quite a while. I was stunned to see the tops of people! Cars! Buildings! When I came to I realized I was in the yard of something called the Minnesota History Center. I decided I might as well go inside and see what it was all about. I was greeted by a very pleasant group! They immediately gave me directions to something they said I absolutely must visit in the museum. Along the way I found a yard! Inside! I haven't slept inside in ages -- and certainly not in an indoor yard. I continued on my way until I was face to face with something called Lake Street.

It was built for me!

I don't know how long this place has existed or where it came from -- at first I thought the Apfelkorn was playing tricks on me! But indeed I was suddenly in a little town full of little buildings and little businesses. I stopped and chatted about this strange little town with a giant fellow for a moment when I got another idea into my head -- I should find the bird's eye view in this town! Imagine how I felt to be at the top of a city built for a little gnome like me!

Willkommen!

There's a great bar and restaurant called Glockenspiel in St. Paul. I stopped in for a much needed beverage (I did just walk all the way from Gnometown USA, after all) and ordered a beer as tall as me! I also ate a giant pretzel and to my surprise my appetite was not satiated!

I was looking over the menu again to see what came with the liver dumplings when I heard a "Pssst!" from across the room. I finally spotted this fellow on the top shelf. A top shelf gnome! How about that? I never knew there were gnomes who guarded bars! Way to go, fella! He suggested I try the Apfelkorn. It's quite delicious. I should find a stoop next to an apple tree!

After drinking all of that alcohol, I decided I should take a look around the place before I left. I ended up finding an incredible looking cuckoo clock, but what stuck out the most was a strange animal mounted on the wall. Boy, the rabbits in Germany sure are strange! Then I laughed and laughed to see what I would look like in a similar fashion. I don't think I could put on as many miles as I do if I had that kind of weight to carry around!

I made sure to salute Top Shelf Gnome as I continued on my journey (but not before stopping here on the way out)!

Ever Have That Feeling You're Being Watched?

Walking along back toward the Twin Cities from Gnometown USA (aka Dawson, MN), I had this strange feeling I was being watched. I turned around and immediately this barn looks away, all of a sudden he was very interested in the corn growing to his left. So I walk a little further, just to test him, and turn around real quick-like. I was too quick for him to find something else to look at. I said hi, but this barn was really shy. I sat and had a snack of wild berries, corn and a single digestive biscuit. I told him about my trip to Gnometown, because I'm still coming down from that excitement, as well as the sleepy gnomes guarding the town library. He told me some stories about corn, hay, the cows he keeps in his belly, and the more exciting events the traffic has had in front of him from past icy winters. Thanks for the afternoon chat, fella!

When A Gnome Visits Gnome Town, Minnesota

I continued walking West today and stumbled upon a town called Dawson. What happened after that isn't all that clear to me. I just know that I don't remember the last time I was so excited. It must have been such an overwhelming experience that my brain doesn't know how to categorize what I went through today. Simply put, I met a town full of gnomes! But my experience was anything but simple.
I felt like I was the country mouse visiting the big city mice. Besides the fact that all the citizens of Gnome Town are extremely friendly, they all also have such prestigious careers (in addition to guarding Gnome Town Park together). I met a doctor and some sports stars. This town even has a gnome-sized chapel! I found that Dawson's Gnome Family Restaurant is for sale. I'm not going to immediately rule out guarding and owning a restaurant; I will spend the night to see how it feels, but I really am not a restaurant gnome. I guess if you can make it in Dawson, you can make it anywhere! But I have a feeling I'll be saying good-bye to Dawson in the morning. I'm realizing that everyone -- and every thing -- seems bigger than I expect (and that's saying a lot considering I am a gnome), even the gnomes! I was the shortest gnome in Gnome Town!

Distracted in Bird Island

I really need to start concentrating on stoops a bit more. It seems like I've been concentrating on yards alone, which is silly because I am fascinated by stoops. It's just in my gnome blood, what can I say? I've been looking at photos of stoops, but I really need to start looking at them in person. Being out and about involves so many distractions! Which is exactly what happened to me today. While passing through a great sounding town called Bird Island in Minnesota, I saw a few nice front steps and porches, but was completely distracted by this giant rock face guarding someone's yard. Seemed like a very calm fellow and I did my best not to wake him up. I was just so curious though, and ended up sneaking up quite closely.

Earpiphony

Today the sky cleared after a few days of thick gray clouds and a brilliant warming yellow shined down upon my beard. I became excited at the change in weather and eagerly looked up to see blue sky and quickly realized that it was not the sun shining down on me! In fact, I couldn't even see the sky! The warmth and yellow light came from a giant golden ear of corn in a western Minnesota town named Olivia. This unshucked majesty blocked out the sky and for a few moments it was all I could see, hear, and think about. I think I can safely say that I have always been bigger than an ear of corn, ever since my adolescent years anyway, but Olivia, like Mark Rosen, has had a transforming effect on me. Today was certainly an adventure. Giant Corn will always have a special place in my memories and in my dreams.